"The Puppet Show" (1.9)

-This episode is dedicated to Slappy and to all of the truly psychotic ventriloquist dummies out there. Keep up the freaky work.

-Principal Snyder! While you're here, did you leave Rom in charge of Quark's? You know how he can get around those dabo girls.

-They really some better lighting in the girls' locker room? Who hangs out in an empty, poorly lit locker room anyway? I don't know about you, but they give me the wig. Ever since this one time I was in an empty, poorly lit locker room and... yeah, there's not really a story there. They just give me the wig.

-Okay, what did Alyson Hannigan ever do to piss off the costumers? Half of the time she looks like Laura Ashley's grandmother and the other half of the time she's dressed like a colorblind six-year-old. Well, they must have made up at some point because--while Willow will still have her moments--I don't remember her looking quite this deranged throughout the rest of the series.

-Buffy, as the Fug Girls would say, "Look into pants."

-Why are they all still acting like Buffy's been huffing paint when she suggests that it might all be Sid? You're on a Hellmouth, people! Giles, I'm especially disappointed in you. She's wrong, but still.

-I like that they made it look like Buffy took her make-up off to go to sleep. That always bugs me when female characters look like they're ready for a night out on the town when they go to bed. Those characters must have to throw away their pillowcases every morning.

-Why would what's her face let Morgan have the dummy out in class in the first place?

-They seem to have a lot of moderately concerned teachers at Sunnydale.

-Let this episode be a lesson to you. While dummies aren't always evil, they are always perverts.

-Morgan was in the same year as Buffy and Willow, was getting a 4.0, and we're supposed to believe Willow didn't know that already. In my experience, the people hovering around the top of the class always know where they stand and how many people are in front of them.

-Giles: Wait, Marc, what's the trick?!

Marc: They're called illusions, Giles! Tricks are what whores do for money.

-Come see Buffy and the Scoobies perform Oedipus Rex! You'll yawn, you'll laugh, you'll watch Willow run off stage!